Letting go, but not forgetting

As is the usual end to my nights as of late, I have found myself sitting at my computer and listening to music. Now that in and of itself is not strange, but I have also found myself deep in my personal thoughts. I know, I generally avoid trying to do that, but I guess I'm getting lazy in my summer days haha. Anyhow, I found that more often than not, I have come to a conclusion about some situation or another. It reminds me of cleaning out an attic. You can only look at a box or two at most a day, otherwise the task becomes so overwhelming and daunting you decline to even attempt it at all. Of course a nice element of chance is involved because I have no idea what will begin me down the road of thought and so the subject is always a pleasant surprise. Now, enough babbling and on to what I was going to blog about.

Letting go, but not forgetting. Powerful stuff lol. This is an area in my life that has gotten a lot of attention lately. And not just because of my own happenings. From the silent musings of a teenage boy to the mournings of loss of a grown man. I think that the phrase "letting go" has gotten a bad wrap. Letting go does not mean just forgetting it. It doesn't mean brushing off like so much dust and pretending it never happened. It doesn't mean blocking it from your mind and destroying all evidence of it. It DOES mean accepting it for what it is. Truly accepting it, not this "yeah, I guess I can't change it" crap. No, I mean, truly saying "it is what it is and I'm going to make peace with that and move forward with my life".
Recently, a friend of my friend passed away in an unfortunate accident. For very good reason, my friend was very depressed about it. I would be too. After a while of mourning, he realized that he needed to let go of his friend. He couldn't forget him, not if he tried. Besides that, he wanted to remember his friend for who he was and respect that. Yet he also couldn't let his friend's death keep him from living his own life. He realized that he could simply set aside a place for his friend in his mind and in his heart and say goodbye. He let go, but didn't forget.
I had my own little revelation of that. It wasn't as large and it didn't require anybody to die. A couple of weeks ago, I wrote a letter to someone close to me. A letter like the one I wrote is a rare thing for me to do. It is my way of putting all of the things I can never find the courage to say and really just put them into that person's hand. It's a big thing for me to write those kinds of letters. It's my personal piece of me, suddenly out there in the great big world. But I wrote this letter to this person and explained many of the things I could never tell her. I never gave her this letter. I had it sitting on my desk until tonight. I have read and re-read it many times. I never gave her this letter because it explained things that had the power to change our friendship. I didn't fully like the way things were between us and wished things could be different. Today, however, I realized that I am comfortable with the way things are. I actually came to this revelation as I was riding my bike, the calmness flowing through me. I enjoy our friendship. It's truly a friendship, one of the greatest relationships I have in my life. I love spending time with her and just love her dearly. My life definitely wouldn't be the same without her. Whatever was between us or whatever could have been between us isn't. And I'm finally okay with it all. Things are great between us. We're happy with who we are and who each other is and we have a great friendship. I am happy that we're happy. And I know I don't need anything more. From this point on, I'm letting go of all that's changed between us, not forgetting, but moving forward. I'm not scared of how things could change. I'm not afraid of what my words might do. So, I'm throwing this letter away. Not out of fear, but out of comfort. I don't need its comfort anymore. I don't need the security those words brought me. I am free.

"I have come to the realization that life is more than what I have accomplished
And life is more than the realization that we have accomplished nothing at all.
True success is so selfless, so drown in the lyrics of your life and give up the air that you breathe...You don't need anything..."
---Who Needs Air by The Classic Crime